According to the research, the best place to be schizophrenic is not North America with all its pharmacopeia. It’s a village in Africa or India, where there’s acceptance. Where people make room for your differentness. Where connection is not broken but maintained. Where you’re not ostracized but welcomed. There’s room for you to act out whatever you need to act out; express what you need to express. The whole community might even sing with you, chant with you and find some meaning in your “craziness”. Gabor Maté
With a Soul like mine, being unmedicated, connected and relatively healthy in Western culture isn’t the norm. But it should be. I want it to be.
Having a space like this, an outlet, has changed my life.
Thank you for being that community that listens and gathers around. We might not sing or chant together, but you receive stories of my breakdowns and breakthroughs. I have a place to share and use what I’ve been given. I feel celebrated, instead of rejected and free to unravel into more of myself, at my own pace.
When I was little, I felt like there was an imperceptible wall between other people and me. I tried to climb over it, but when I did, I was met with sideways glances and awkward silence.
The joy that came easily to others, avoided me like the plague. I saw the dying caterpillar before someone pointed out the butterfly.
I was convinced I was playing catch up; there was a key to living everyone else knew, but I was yet to discover.
I was the quintessential 'good girl' at school. A total teacher’s pet and over-achiever, I lived for praise and recognition. I didn't have lunch time for four years because I was running between SRC meetings, debating club and musical rehearsals.
2007
At fifteen, I was diagnosed with depression. I struggled with body dysmorphia and disordered eating and couldn’t walk past a mirror without cringing. The more of my individuality came online, the more afraid I grew. I sought comfort, security and validation in men, sex and relationships.
2010
Fell in love with a boy who promised to love me in spite of everything I’d done. Put my dreams of moving to Sydney on hold for the promise of a fantasy life.
Got caught in the cycle of DV.
Got pregnant.
Got out.
2011
I enrolled in a journalism and political science degree, lived on campus and spent two years getting black out drunk and self-medicating with alcohol and one-night stands. I woke up with dread in my stomach almost every morning and spent most nights drunk crying in my underwear. I hated the path I was on, but I had no idea how to change direction.
I let my creativity stagnate inside me, and my potential paralyze rather than excite me.
2013
Met a woman in a nightclub who invited me to her church. I went along, reluctantly. The message was about Grace, and how, no matter what you’ve done, Love is still there. Something clicked.
I realised I could live a life with love, rather than hustling to get it from outside of me.
I understood if I kept going down my current path, all my untapped potential would keep wreaking havoc in my system, and I’d never get to experience what I knew I was capable of. I knew that if I kept going down this path - if I survived at all - I would never make the impact I was born to make.
I chose to love my power, more than I was afraid of it.
Went to Church every Sunday and met the girls who would become my soul sisters.
Spent hours in worship, tears streaming down my face.
Gave up sex. Gave up drinking to get drunk. Gave up dating. Not because I felt like I had to, but because they didn’t align with who I wanted to be. It didn’t feel like a sacrifice, it felt like a relief.
Discovered life coaching. Spent every last cent in my account on Marie Forleo’s B School, an online business program that gave me the inspiration and insight I needed to turn my passion into a career.
The same fire that used to wreak havoc inside me, began to fuel my drive.
2014
Began separating my worth from my achievements and worked with the gift of my sensitivity rather than holding it against myself.
I started my blog and wrote an eBook.
After four years of whining, complaining, stressing and struggling, finished my degree and graduated with a Bachelor of Journalism/Arts majoring in Political Science from the University of Queensland. Graduation ended up being one of the happiest days of my life.
2015
Quit my internship at one of Australia’s leading network newsrooms and moved to Sydney to become a Life Coach.
2016
Pilgrimage back to my birthplace, the Northern Beaches of Sydney. Manifested a killer apartment on my own little peninsula.
Fast forward to 2026
I published my memoir, Holy F*ck. I continue to write and speak openly about my lived experience. Over the last thirty years, I’ve been fortunate enough to bear witness to the heart-wrenching stories of incredible humans. I know we’re all struggling with things that most people know nothing about. I hope my work makes you feel less alone.
4/6 Self-projected Projector. Life path 22/4.
I love breaking down systems and structures that no longer serve the world.
My vision is a world where everyone is empowered to discover their innate talents and abilities and encouraged to use them in the service of others to create a career that fulfills them and their purpose on this earth.