Hey beautiful,
I’m Jae
I call myself an inner wilderness guide because I help you map, explore and navigate the terrain of your inner world.
When I was little, I felt like there was an imperceptible wall between other people and me. I tried to climb over it, but when I did, I was met with sideways glances and awkward silence.
The joy that came easily to others, avoided me like the plague. I saw the dying caterpillar before someone pointed out the butterfly.
I was convinced I was playing catch up; there was a key to living everyone else knew, but I was yet to discover.
I was the quintessential 'good girl' at school. A total teacher’s pet and over-achiever, I lived for praise and recognition. I didn't have lunch time for four years because I was running between SRC meetings, debating club and musical rehearsals.
2007
At fifteen, I was diagnosed with depression. I struggled with body dysmorphia and disordered eating and couldn’t walk past a mirror without cringing. I sought comfort, security and validation in men, sex and relationships.
2010
The year before I left school, I fell in love with a boy who promised to love me in spite of everything I’d done. I put my dreams of moving to Sydney on hold for the promise of a fantasy life.
2011
I let my creativity stagnate inside me, and my potential paralyze rather than excite me.
I enrolled in a journalism and political science degree, lived on campus and spent two years getting black out drunk and self-medicating with alcohol and one-night stands. I woke up with dread in my stomach almost every morning and spent most nights drunk crying in my underwear. I hated the path I was on, but I had no idea how to change direction.
2013
On a night out in Fortitude Valley, I met a woman in a nightclub who invited me to her church. I went along, reluctantly. The message was about Grace, and how, no matter what you’ve done, Love is still available to you. Something clicked.
I realised I could live a life with love, rather than hustling to get it from outside of me.
I chose to love my power, more than I was afraid of it.
I started going to Church every Sunday and met the girls who would become my soul sisters. I spent hours in worship, tears streaming down my face.
I gave up sex, dating and drinking to get drunk. Not because I felt like I had to, but because they didn’t align with who I wanted to be. It didn’t feel like a sacrifice, it felt like a relief.
I also discovered life coaching and spent every last cent in my account on Marie Forleo’s B School, an online business program that gave me the inspiration and insight I needed to turn my passion into a career.
The same fire that used to wreak havoc inside me, began to fuel my drive.
2014
I began separating my worth from my achievements and started working with the gift of my sensitivity rather than holding it against myself.
I started my blog and wrote an eBook.
After four years of whining, complaining, stressing and struggling, I finished my degree and graduated with a Bachelor of Journalism/Arts majoring in Political Science from the University of Queensland. Graduation ended up being one of the happiest days of my life.
2015
I quit my internship at one of Australia’s leading network newsrooms and moved to Sydney.
Fast forward to today…
In January this year, I published my memoir, Holy F*ck. I continue to write and speak openly about my lived experience.
Human Design: 4/6 Self-projected Projector
Life path 22/4
I love breaking down systems and structures that no longer serve the world.
