I used to be stickler for loose ends, everything I touched would have my fingerprints all over it, marking my territory. I refused to make decisions if it meant saying no to something, I’d refuse to break up with guys even when I wasn’t feeling it anymore, always giving them just enough attention to keep them interested, I avoided difficult conversations at all costs and lashed out in anger when I didn’t know how to say Good bye.
I clung for dear life to people, habits and identities.
Now I kinda get off on putting things to bed; closing the lid, wrapping a big bow around it and putting it away (with a warning label if necessary) for a rainy day or for all eternity. Closure is cathartic, it’s liberating…but it’s also freaking illusive. I hear it all the time, “I can’t stop talking to him, I haven’t had closure.” “I can’t seem to let go, something is holding me back.” “I’m scared if I close this door, nothing better will come along.”
Sometimes we get our fairytale goodbye, sometimes the page is torn out before we’re ready and the jagged edges leave track marks on our heart, and sometimes life closes a door for us. Someone dies, an ex gets engaged, a window of opportunity is slammed shut and we are left with a choice; are you going to bang on the door and demand all your unrealised expectations be met, or can you gather your memories and walk away? Your power lies in what you do next.
Closure is a pact you make with the Universe that says, ‘Okay, I trust this thing has run its course and what is coming is greater than anything I leave behind.’ It’s a state of inner peace that starts from the inside and travels out. It’s a solo mission, a journey you have to make alone. That said, there are a few ways to make it easier.
Forgive. The only person you can control is yourself, and you deserve peace. Apologise if you need to, even if you don’t hear it back. Grudges are for people with to much time on their hands and you my darling, have bigger battles to fight.
Feel. You’ve gotta let your soul have the experience it’s craving. Scream. Cry. Write a letter and never send it. Meditate. Pray. Replay the picture in your head of what could have been over and over again until it brings you to your knees. When you’re done, rise from the ashes. Survive. Cleanse. Renew. Release. Then breathe a sigh of relief and sink into the space and lightness of your new, higher self.
Focus. Fix your eyes head. How much lighter do you feel now you’re not carrying around the weight of your past? Did you learn anything? What do you have to look forward to? You get to begin again now but stronger, wiser, Laura 2.0, and that’s the most beautiful thing of all.
What do you need to let go of? An old love, an old self? You have the power to begin again in every moment, you get to decide when you’re over it, you get to put the bow on the box and move on with your life, and maybe that’s all the closure we really need.
Happy Monday my loves. I adore you. I’m cheering for you. I’m loving you,